Death and After...

Yeah, I know, this is one very common but interesting topic you generally get to read.But before you start imagining things, let me tell you right away that this has NOT got anything to do with ghosts or spirits. Now, having said this, if your spirits are already dampened, then, sorry about that. You can still save a couple of your precious minutes by exiting this blog right here. But if you want to save yourself from one grave unforgivable mistake, if you do not want to live half of your life with the worst possible regret, then read on.

I chose to speak about death simply because I had a few thoughts hovering in my mind. And when thoughts overflow, this is where I pour them. :-)

Very recently, I lost my uncle to Cancer. This is the third time that ' Death' kissed someone in my very close circle of relatives. The first time death struck my family, it gave me an unforgettable blow, some thing from which I have not been able to completely recover even to this day-It took away my favorite person, the sweetheart of my family, my Grand Dad.

I personally believe that Death takes some virtual form, may be that of a human being (Or shall we say Yama?). Although I do not know exactly what Death looks like, I know for certain that Death, when it hits, it bears an unfading impact on the person's family. Although I do not know for sure if the moment for the arrival of the death for a person is deterministic, I know for sure know that when Death becomes one with the person, it cant be undone. It is probably the only loss of such indescribably huge magnitude that cannot be made up for in this world, even to a small degree. Every time Death strikes some one very close to me, it gets me thinking about it all the time, it is always at the back of my mind irrespective of what I am doing, what time of the day it is.

And then, comes the toughest part- finding answers to some of the toughest questions that often pop up in my mind, out of the blue. This requires some serious thinking. This blow called Death might approach different people in different forms and ways, but the one thing that is certain is that the magnitude of this big blow on the every person's family is more or less the same.

Everybody goes through the same trauma, the same thought process and most of the times, the very same questions pop up in our minds. Like say - Did it have to be him/her? How can it be that a person was very much alive and "existing" till yesterday and is no more today? What is death exactly? What is it that is missing in that person if he has to be dead now, is it just the heart beats in layman terms? How can I even imagine a world without him/her? What about all the good times that I have had with this person, will they now only remain bygone memories?

Many such questions come and go...some answered and some unanswered. Some of these questions only remain at the heat of the moment, and as time passes, these questions go into the oblivion unanswered. Probably this is what they mean when they say 'Time heals everything’?! But there is one thing which will always remain with you till the very Death strikes you, and that is - REGRET.

Regrets for not being there for the person when he/she needed you the most. Regrets for not completely understanding his/her feelings, regrets for hurting him/her at times. Regrets for not taking good care, showing due love and affection, regrets for not bringing that smile on his/her face. Regrets for not expressing benevolence and gratitude, empathy and consideration to your loved ones, particularly parents and grandparents.

I have pondered on such thoughts ample number of times, and each time I have arrived at only one answer. The only way to ensure that you are not given to regrets is by showering infinite love and affection. Learn to be oblivious to small unpleasant incidents that happen in everyday life. Realize the importance of parents in your life, realize that parents can only get older as time wares, and elders are meant to be treasured. Remember that any amount of explanation and reasoning after losing the person will not help and this regret will continue to haunt you for the rest of your life. Remember that we will also become old one day, and history repeats.

I sometimes feel it takes the death of a loved one to teach us what life really is. To this day, I haven't been able to make up for this void that was created in my life the day my grand dad died, and I know that the space in me that can never be filled again.

Parents are the only asset that you can die for. Act now before its too late.

--When we lose one we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough. ~Maurice Maeterlinck, Wisdom and Destiny, 1901, translated by Alfred Sutro